I have had almost 7 months to reflect on my new role in life. I am a Mother. I never thought I would be a mother. I often used to fantasize about what it would be like to have another human refer to me as Mother, their caregiver, the person whom their whole world revolves around. But it always seemed like such a fantasy from a far away place.
Wikipedia says this:A mother is a woman who has, conceives, gives birth to, or raises a child. Because of the complexity and differences of a mothers' social, cultural, and religious definitions and roles, it is challenging to define a mother to suit a universally accepted definition.
Concieves? check. Gives birth..check... raising a child...check!! I am a Mom!! Wow,, it has taken a long time to sink in. Sometimes I am so afraid I will wake up and it will all have been a dream.
My whole perception on life has changed. I used to be known as that wild carefree life of the party girl. No real perception of consequence. Now every little thing I do, I carefully think out rationale and consequence. I am responsible for another persons life. I need to do everything in my power to keep her safe and me safe. I look at my husband differently now, he is a Dad! He is a wonderful Dad, he loves his daughter soo much. I see his face light up when he comes home and see her smile!! That for me is priceless, that is very satifying. All those voids I used to try and fill with different things are now all filled in one little smile. Amazing!
I see the world differently now. Every thing I see, is a memory, a reflection or an opportunity. I find myself more and more reflecting on my family and an increasing desire to have that white picket fence family we all long for.
I find I try and connect more to my own mother. I see her in a whole new light. She raised us. We were no saints..beleive me! She is a strong woman! I use to think woman that just wanted to be a mom, no career aspirations were just weird or lazy. Boy was I wrong, this is the HARDEST job you will ever have, its the most rewarding job you will ever have with life lasting benefits. I would love to be a SAHM, unfortunately I have my own business that I also love. The great multi-tasker that I am, I will run my business and be a great mom!
Once you join the Mommy Club, you are drawn to anyone that is a mommy. New connections, new relationships. There is a special bond already formed because we are moms.
I guess what I am trying to say,, the news has sunk, I am a Mom, a very proud Mom and I wouldn't change a thing!!!
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